Saturday, November 05, 2005
half dead?
ya. am i half-dead? i guess so. right now im down with a fever. o level fever i guess. sheesh. and its irritating. i hate fevers during exams. imagine how tired ur brain might be after one paper. ughh. whatever. btw, had the hari raya visits. found out he wasnt as good as he sounded. lol. mr cocktalker. oops. haha. baru mintak maaf. =P met most of my cousins. 4 together with me taking the o's. and including 2 more who want to go look for a job with me after the 22nd. aww. cant wait. maths paper is on monday. together with s.s. i should have no probs for s.s. i gota B4 for the practise i did. it was a june paper. singaporeans dont get to take that. ya june o's. ya then. more updates. more updates. ya. nowadays i seem to feel different. i hear this voice in my mind giving critics n laughing at my thoughts the other day. then, on another day, just after i fell asleep, i hear this same voice waking me up. "yan?.... yan??", it kept on calling. louder the second time. i opened the door as i thought it might be someone from inside the house. but the lights outside was off. everybody was fast asleep. and i thought it was just an imagination. so, back to sleep. yesterday night, i somehow heard my sister's mind. my little sister. she told me to guess who the hari raya card for her was from. immediately after that i heard her say the name. then i repeated after her. she thought i was smart but i heard her. and she denied and bla bla bla. u noe what i mean. though it is strange, it already seems normal to me. yesterday before i sleep, i saw a shadow dashed across this wall in my house with a small window connecting the dining room and the kitchen. i thought it was the fan on the ceiling. but when i got to the dining room, the fan was off. ya. weird. weird. weird. then had a sudden tummyache in the middle of the night. woke up and entered the toilet. behind me i saw something brown-black, swaying side to side. its like u can see it at the corner of ur eyes. then when i turned behind, it was nothing. the wall was white. no stains, no nothing. and the tummyache went away. what the hell. afraid to show urself but just wana play around. i was so sleepy and just slept. whatever u are, i've heard u, seen u. what next? smell u? feel u? idiot. aniways. life is collared. whatever that means. a red one i would prefer. this big animal just wont let me in the way. i'll stab u in the little toe. and down u go. crying in pain. and there my way is made. the collar u let go. im me again. foolishness.
urg. no one understands.
- â¥
7:34 pm
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